Introduction #
In today’s fast-food romance era, finding a partner who is stable, reliable, and steadfast has become increasingly difficult. However, many people overlook the ultimate, most unsung partner right beside them—the pillar inside your home (or any pillar in a building).
I am not joking.
While a romance that transcends the boundary between physical objects and living beings might sound a bit avant-garde, analyzing it from both rational and emotional perspectives reveals that dating a pillar offers numerous advantages that human partners simply cannot match.
1. Ultimate Stability and Security #
A pillar has a robust body that spends its entire life holding up a piece of the sky for you, giving you an unmatched sense of security.
- Rain or Shine: No matter how the external economy declines or how the world changes, it stays standing there quietly.
- Physical-Grade Security: In critical moments, it is literally a “rock-solid support,” providing the strongest and most stable force to rely on.
2. Absolute Single-Mindedness and Loyalty: Zero Risk of Cheating #
The “trust issues” that cause so much anxiety in modern relationships are completely non-existent with a pillar.
- Zero Flirting with Third Parties: It has no social media accounts, doesn’t wander around, and won’t talk to anyone else.
- Single-Minded Devotion: Its world revolves entirely around you. Whenever you need it, it will always be standing right there, never shifting its affection.
3. Strong Hugs Anytime, Anywhere: The Quietest Listener #
When you come home exhausted after facing setbacks outside, the pillar is always there waiting for you.
- Always Available: Lean on it whenever you want, wrap your arms around it whenever you feel like it—no need to read anyone’s facial expressions.
- Zero Emotional Blackmail: It won’t complain that you talk too much, nor will it argue with your points. It simply carries all your emotions, feelings, and tears in silence.
4. Zero Communication Costs and Friction: Away from Emotional Burnout #
The vast majority of breakups stem from personality clashes or poor communication, none of which will ever happen with a pillar.
- No Arguments or Cold Wars: It won’t get mad at you over different living habits, won’t judge your flaws, and certainly won’t abandon you for no reason.
- No Mind Games: It is open, honest, and what you see is what you get, saving you countless hours of suspicion and communication costs.
5. High CP Value and Ultra-Low Maintenance: An Economical Choice #
Maintaining a relationship with a human often requires a significant investment of time and money, but a pillar is exceptionally low-maintenance.
- Save on Expenses: No need to buy it birthday or holiday gifts, nor do you need to worry about what it needs—because it needs nothing.
- Simple Upkeep: You only need to dust it off occasionally or give it a fresh coat of paint every few years, and it will stay by your side for a lifetime without a single complaint.
Conclusion and Friendly Reminders #
Although dating a pillar comes with countless advantages, this relationship isn’t entirely flawless. For example: it feels a bit cold to the touch (it’s recommended to put a cozy knitted sweater on it during winter), it can’t accompany you on shopping trips (it can’t overcome long-distance relationship hurdles), and it isn’t very good at chatting—though that is by no means a dealbreaker.
Alright!
Overall, a pillar is undeniably the most grounded, deeply affectionate, and durable choice of partner in this day and age!
“If you do not leave, I shall never abandon.” —— 柱！
